Oxytocin is the fulfillment related chemical that flows through our veins.
Oxytocin flows when we get fulfillment by doing something selflessly.
Oxytocin can help increase immunity and fights stress
The flow of oxytocin cannot be tricked and true fulfillment needs to happen for this to flow.
Very recently I had the honor of reading “Leaders Eat Last” by Simon Sinek, the author of the hugely popular “Start with Why”. This book is an amazing read for the simple fact that by means of biology the author has explained how to beat stress in our fast paced lives by sticking to ethics.
Stress as well as happiness stimulating hormones we all would be aware of but the mental mapping of these is something we rarely think of. Had we done the same our actions would have been more often than not directed towards enhancing the flow of happiness stimulating selfless chemicals to beat stress and duress in our stress filled lives.
Stress which is part and parcel of our modern fast paced lives results in a chemical named “Cortisol” flowing through our veins. As against this when we are happy for ourselves(selfish) say for e.g. when we have had a very tiring but fulfilling day in office may be for e.g. by being able to deliver something critical by stretching late in office a selfish happiness stimulating chemical named “Endorphin” flows through our veins. When people try to beat stress by working out extra time in gyms, the same chemical flows through our veins and keeps us happy for the time being.
Any kind of work done by us that gives us an appreciation to satisfy our self-ego(selfish) but which does not give us any sense of belonging results in “Dopamine” flowing through our veins. With the proliferation of social media penetration that “one buzz” in our phones to indicate one more like for our posts on FB or Twitter results in the flow of this selfish happiness stimulating chemical that acts as a quick fix to keep our subconscious mind happy.
When we feel happy and feel a sense of belonging especially when a co-worker thanks us or when we feel happy by doing something for the family/near or dear ones/society and that too ethically it does us the most good by allowing the flow of selfless and happiness stimulating chemicals named “Serotonin(leadership chemical)” and “Oxytocin(fulfillment chemical)” through or veins.
The challenge in life , to beat stress , is not to chase short term quick fix driven “Dopamine happiness” but look to do or achieve something ethically that would give us a sense of belonging and a good night’s sleep by allowing sufficient flow of “Oxytocin” through our veins.
Thus the mathematical equation involving biological chemicals to help us lead a balanced and truly happy life with a sense of belonging is:
(Serotonin + Oxytocin) >>>> Cortisol
With this simple equation in mind let us all pledge to act in ways to fight stress by doing things in our day to day lives that give us a sense of belonging that have far reaching impacts beyond mere self-satisfaction. The other advantage of this would be that since this formula to beat stress is scientifically proven we can form a mental map and preempt our behavior patterns to act in ways that help us achieve selfless truly fulfilling satisfaction rather than meeting our selfish short term goals.
Unleash the flow of selfless chemicals through your veins!!!!!
Human beings right from the caveman times have always felt a sense of belonging.Human bonds are unique to homo sapiens and separates us from other animals around us.
The need to feel safe in a group is a basic instinct that all human beings have and are attracted by.This is the reason we perform at our best when led by leaders who make us feel safe and in teams where we feel a sense of belonging.The sense of belonging and the fulfillment as a result of the same results in the flow of oxytocin in our veins.
The following great quote crisply amplifies the message mentioned above..
“We are drawn to leaders and organizations that are good at communicating what they believe. Their ability to make us feel like we belong, to make us feel special, safe and not alone is part of what gives them the ability to inspire us.” – Simon Sinek
Most of us are by now familiar with the concept of “infinite games” as preached by Simon Sinek.To summarize , playing “infinite games” ensure that we compete with ourselves rather than being bothered about the competition.The following quote by Simon Sinek wonderfully explains the need of playing “infinite games”.
“We’d achieve more if we chased our dreams instead of our competition.” — Simon Sinek
What makes Simon Sinek’s leadership lessons easy to understand is the fact that we can easily relate to them in our daily work lives.
One such lesson is when he says “Great leaders show followers a destination“.
This does resonate with me since this has a relation with our human brain as well. When the destination is clear or a semblance of it is imprinted in the mind of a follower , the human mind is creative enough to reach the destination even if obstacles come in the way of the destination.
True leaders who walk the talk and are “hands on” are willing to slog it out with the followers when they see their team members struggling to find a destination.
As opposed to this , there are other leaders who feel insecure by the day and for lack of subject matter knowledge , make the destination deliberately confusing to the followers. A hazy destination confuses the human mind and inhibits the use of creativity. Traditionally these are leaders who are leaders only because of their rank/position and lack true respect from followers.
As per Simon Sinek , the leaders , who are able to show their followers a destination , are the ones who are able to get the best of their team members and in turn the followers are willing to give their blood sweat and tear & are able to unleash their true potential. This results in insanely productive outcomes.
This being said it must be said that such leaders are very rare to get and want of such leaders makes our workplaces so suffocating. Most of the times in the presence of micro-managing leaders , who themselves are not clear of the destination , lack the true subject matter knowledge and intrinsic sense of motivation , workers get frustrated and tired of doing mundane work wherein their creativity and accountability are not put to test.
We all are in search of such leaders who would make us feel safe , have courage and guts to show their followers the destination…..
Pile on motivation!!
If you follow Simon Sinek , like the way I do , you would have come across the concept of “Infinite Games”. I have watched myriad videos on youtube wherein Simon has preached and explained the meaning & importance of playing infinite games for achieving fulfillment for individuals as well as business entities.
Please find below the link to a most recent video of his wherein he explains about “infinite games” and also provides a checklist that qualifies any entity to engage in playing infinite games.
Very briefly let us look at the concept. The individual mentioned below can refer to any individual person , business , education institution , hospital or any such entity.
Playing infinite games means that we should not compare ourselves with others and should try and create a better version of ourselves by the day. An infinite player knows that sometimes he will be ahead and sometimes he will lag hence he would believe in the journey and not short term benefits. Winning does matter but when we fall behind it makes us realize our shortcomings to help pull up our socks for the days to come.
This way we would compete with ourselves instead of having to bother and get bogged down by competition. This would help unleash the best in us and as long as we have put our best efforts we should be satisfied. Sometimes we win and sometimes we do not but such lessons learnt would enrich us by the day and indeed help us in achieving greater successes in the future.
Easier said than done this requires a lot of soul searching , grit , determination and courage.
The checklist mentioned by Simon in his video consists of the following.
Infinite game it must be said is a journey and not a destination.The destination may seem near but as we come nearer the milestone would change , destination would get blurred and hence this is not for the faint hearted who would rather back out and settle for some short term gains.
Pile on motivation!!!!
Having gone through some of the best self-help books as well as blogs & youtube videos, I have tried summarizing some of the key aspects, emphasized by these wise men, to lead a fulfilling life in the modern age of hustle and bustle.
The following are some of the noteworthy books that I went through, where in the authors have tried zeroing in on these quintessential aspects.
Based on the learnings as well as the messages conveyed in the aforementioned books as well as blogs/youtube videos please find below an attempt made by me to summarize some of the key aspects that are the perfect recipe for leading a fulfilled life for leaving a legacy for others to follow.
Pile on motivation!!!!
The following is the book for whom I am writing my review.
https://www.amazon.com/Together-Better-Little-Book-Inspiration/dp/1591847850
“Together Is Better” by Simon Sinek is a very nicely written self-help book wherein the emphasis is on winning as a group rather than winning individually.
The way great leadership, wherein the great leader is chosen by the group to make the group feel safe, has been related with leadership during caveman times is truly fascinating. In the absence of a hierarchy of leader and followers, a chaotic system would have made survival very difficult for the human race. During caveman times ALPHA was given first choice of food and mate by the members of the group with the intention that the ALPHA would go any distance to protect the group from external dangers.
This is the basic essence why homo sapiens has been able to able to weather all storms and survive the test of time where other species who originated at around the same time , have become extinct. Getting ALPHA status as a leader came at the cost of having to protect others who elected the human being as the ALPHA.
Severe resentment and ill will arises when the ALPHA is not willing to take full responsibility of the group and is willing to sacrifice others for his/her own benefit. This is precisely the reason why getting qualified and deserving leaders has become such a big deal in the modern age where in the midst of cut throat competition we have lost sight of the basic principles that qualify a leader.
The basic human instincts of feeling safe in a group are traits that human beings have inherited right from the caveman times. Hence we are still driven to give off our best when we feel secure and safe in a surrounding, where we know someone is there to take care of us. The challenge is to find such surroundings and groups where we can feel safe and secure and can unleash our true potential to achieve fulfillment.
One such pointer that can serve as a guiding star to be in such groups is to find people who genuinely “believe in what we believe”. We may not find the world believing in what we believe but once we find the initial few ones, the others who do not believe in what we believe will either leave the group or be part of another group. Once we get and feel belonged in the group of our choice we can do wonders and overcome seemingly impossible obstacles since we feel a sense of fulfillment.
Historically when the human race evolved, countries, societies and communities were formed by having people with the same set of beliefs and opinions. With the advancement of time and in the face of ruthless advancement we have lost sight of these nuances which is why we no longer feel safe in the workplaces we work, societies we live.
Thus long term fulfillment stems from forming long term bonds with like-minded people who believe in what we believe and give us a feeling of safety and security to help unleash our best…..
Pile on motivation!!!!
For those who have not yet watched this video of Simon Sinek , this is a must watch.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8QX6pkSityQ
Please listen to this video very carefully and would have witnessed something extra special.
Simon Sinek narrates his experience of getting stuck up in Afghanistan , after having lost all hopes of returning back to his home.
During that moment of hopelessness he like ordinary humans became obsessed with his own goals and forgot about the principles of leadership he energizes people with.
This real life experience when his back was against the wall , leading up to the magical realization that dawned on him , is a true treat for people who are seeking inspiration and motivation.
The very fact that serving those who serve others can act as a panacea and result in fulfillment is something that Simon realized through his life experience and is sure to inspire more and more of his followers.
Pile on motivation!!
The following video of Simon is truly a must watch.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=90ct4RVOQ4U
The following guiding principles that emanate from WHY would help us lead our lives in a much better and proficient manner
Pile on motivation!!!!